Status Updates From Idiots

February 23, 2010

Lots Of Cute Ideas

Filed under: comedy — Tags: , , — youneed2stop @ 6:40 pm

Vito ******** – “What’s funny is if I had a girl I’d probably be like, “stupid hallmark holiday, what the heck am I gonna get her!?” but since I don’t I’m all like, ” Man, if I had a girl right now she’d be so spoiled, I have all these cute ideas.” ~~~My father once told me, “V, the grass onna the other side…thatsa the greeny one.”~…~~ He’s right.”

– What’s even funnier is your dad hinting around the idea that you should turn gay, which means he’s given up on you. Besides, bitches ain’t gonna be messin’ round with some dude who has “cute ideas”. Side note: please refer back to your 3rd grade notes on how to properly use quotation marks. Putting symbols and dots in your sentences just because you think they look smart doesn’t make you smart. I have more respect for a neanderthal who tries to play fetch with a rock than the nonsense you posted.

October 19, 2009

Friends Forever

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , — youneed2stop @ 4:44 pm

Jessica **** – “Friends Are The Angels That Lift Us To Our Feet When Our Wings Have Trouble Remembering How To Fly! (Raven, Angie,Terin, Tonya,Tiff, Holly, Christy & Courtney!)”

–  Did you steal this quote off a plaque hanging in your Mom’s kitchen? You know the one located  next to the shifty eyed cat clock that meows at the stroke of every hour.  Anyways, you should tell this to my ex- best friends Kevin and Darrell, who video taped themselves pig roasting my wife, while playing “Friends Forever” by the Zack Attack in the background.  Maybe they too will be inspired by this uplifting message.  I really want them to understand the Hallmark meaning of friendship.

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