Status Updates From Idiots

September 8, 2010

Monica Without A Cause

Filed under: comedy — Tags: , , , , — youneed2stop @ 6:00 am

Monica ****** – “I’m strong-willed, independent and outspoken; I make mistakes. I am sometimes out of control and at times hard to handle, but if you can’t handle me at my worst then you sure don’t deserve me at my best. If …you’re a…HANDFUL, then post this on …..your status.. I DARE You!”

– You are aware that this courageous DARE you accepted portrays you as a self loving bitch, whose most redeemable qualities can either be found with a backhand upside your head or asleep in bed. Then again you probably snore, snort, and bark like a walrus having a wet dream when you’re sleeping. Either way you’re about as badass as those Tazz and Bugs attitude t-shirts from the 90’s. I personally think you’re a nice stupid person who waters her corn crops on farmville and usually writes updates about how much you love your hubby.

January 11, 2010

Super Popular

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , — youneed2stop @ 7:53 pm

Amelia ******** – “100 friend requests, 45 event invitations, 17 friend suggestions, 350 other requests…. and Inbox 962. What a mess!”

– Looks like somebody was born with the popular gene. Let me guess: 100 dirty old men who want to bang you, 45 event invitations to gang bang parties held by the dirty old men, 17 friend suggestions from people who don’t want to be your friend, thus that’s why they call them suggestions, 350 other requests to join Farmville, Mafia Wars, and Slobnobbin’ Bunnies, and 962 messages from a bunch of perverts asking if you prefer bananas or baseball bats.

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