Status Updates From Idiots

November 30, 2010

Captain Dingleberry’s Rapist’s Wit

DrunkenStepFather – “COMMENT OF THE DAY CONTEST OF THE DAY: What’s better? A . raping a pregnant woman is not as bad as raping a non-pregnant chick, because the jury will always be thinking “She’s fucked already”. Or at least that is what I am hoping. OR B – julianne moore is so effin hot that if she had a yeast infestion i would eat ginger bread.”

– Guess what everybody? I found another hilarious celebrity blog called Drunken Stepfather. Not to be confused with , which Stepfather clearly doesn’t rip off. If you’ve never heard of this blog then don’t worry, it’s as stupid as shit. Take his status update for example doesn’t it just cry “I’m a homophobic dick-pit that thinks: A. rape is funny & B. Julianne Moore Uncle Fester’s daughter is so effin hot that I’d eat herpes off a crack whore’s floppy beef curtains just to prove I’m worth it”. Then again I wouldn’t be surprised if his stepfather use to play the “Get over here so I can have sex with your little boy butt” game every Saturday night. Do us all a favor Captain Dingleberry and piss off a mobster whose mother was raped.

November 16, 2010

What A Ham!

Wrenna ***** – I’d have no problem tasting Human.. I think it’d taste like chicken.. maybe like moose. I reaally just want to bite someones throat out right now.. wolf style. GrarRR!! Will be in Hollywood Tomorrow for another neurologist apt then in my pasties I go “:)

– Ever come across a f@cktard like Wrenna and say “I’m not a doctor or anything, but that dumb biotch needs to be put in a straight jacket and pushed down a hill”?  Well I haven’t, because I AM A DOCTOR.  A really good doctor too. So it’s only appropriate that I lend a reasonable explanation as to why Wrenna posted a satanic update.

Late one Friday night Wrenna caught Blade 3 on TNT. She fell head over heels in love with Blade, or in her words “Eddie Murphy: the Black Vampire Ninja”. Of course I told her Wesley Snipes was Blade, but she insisted that Eddie Murphy gained a lot of weight for the Black Vampire Ninja role in Big Momma’s House 2. Anyways, Wrenna got curious and went to a Vampire/Werewolf S&M club. She was immediately propositioned by a man wearing a tin helmet and spiked shoulder pads to take the Human-Moose challenge (much like the Pepsi-Coke challenge, but with blood). After downing 2 goblets of blood Wrenna blacked out. The next morning she awoke in a locked porta potty dressed as a vampire warrior elf. Ever since that fateful night Wrenna is convinced of 3 things: 1. it’s ok to eat people (because human throats taste like moose) 2. vampires and werewolves are real and live in castles 3. Shredder left the Footclan to run the hottest Vampire/Werewolf S&M club in town called FANGS.

November 10, 2010

Ms. Pee Pants

Filed under: comedy — Tags: , — youneed2stop @ 8:02 am

Jeni ****** – “So i am laying on the couch today, enjoying a wonderful visit from mother nature, as i am holding my stomach because its cramping, ethan says ”Momma, maybe you should go drop some turds off and then your belly will feel better” omg, i almost wet myself.”

– Well I’m impressed, Ms. Jeni. You’ve taken nearly every bodily function (piss, fecal matter, vagina blood, and possibly tears from laughing so hard) and incorporated them all into a rather disturbing status update. The only excrement missing is your boyfriends semen, which could possibly be found in one of those sperm-turds you’re about to drop. Jeni, I know splooge covered turds and urine soaked panties with blood stains may sound offensive and unnecessary, but it’s not, because it has to do with nature and nature’s not offensive. I don’t know….. I guess I’m a little bummed that you didn’t talk more about your period and how we all need to know about it.

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