Status Updates From Idiots

October 26, 2010

LOL! That Is Funny

Filed under: comedy, Please Stop Talking — Tags: , , , , , — youneed2stop @ 6:12 am

Amanda ******** – “ok one more day before I leave for CHICAGO!!!!! I think there is much to be done but its ok it will all get done and if it doesnt then who cares becuase I get to see some of my family tomorrow and my sisters baby belly (which I am hopeing to be quite large LOL)”

– I wonder if Mark Zuckerberg wouldn’t mind adding a mandatory IQ test to Facebook. Wouldn’t that be badass? You could view all your chums IQ scores on their homepage and leave comments like “Well aren’t you sharp as a tack ;9”. Of course you’ll have people like Amanduhhhhhhh who’ll find ways to piss on your party of happiness by scoring lower than a dead person and failing. Amandumb, the only reason I’m poking fun at your intelligence is because you’re moving to Chicago in the winter…… and the comment you made about “there is much to be done but it’s ok”………..  and the comment you made about your sisters baby belly, which I’m convinced is a knapsack of Kraft Singles that she ‘accidentally’ swallowed.

October 18, 2010

Birth Control is to Babies as…..

Filed under: comedy, Really? — Tags: , , , — youneed2stop @ 4:22 am

Cindy ******** – “got class at 9:30 and then got a dr appt at 2 to get my birth control shot, and then i am going to see my baby for a little while and then i have a class at…”

– ….Cindy’s class is to English. First and foremost I’d like to thank Cindy for clearing up a question that’s always baffled me. Why does oxymoron end with moron? (see status update for the obvious answer) Man oh man I wish I invented that word. Of course I’d keep oxy and replace moron with an extremely hurtful and offensive word. And seeing how Sindy sounds like a stripper, hence why I dropped the “C” and added an “S”, maybe this is the perfect time to update oxymoron to “oxyf*cktard”.

October 8, 2010

A True Inspiration

Filed under: comedy — Tags: , , — youneed2stop @ 9:29 pm


Jawkeen ****** – “Be Thankful! Dream Big and NEVER give up!”

– So I was watching Criminal Minds last night when it dawned on me how thankful I am to be alive. Not sure why, but I think it had something to do with that menacing old man who killed girls. I also thought I felt an earthquake, but the rattle turned out to be my neighbors muscle car being all rumblie and shit. Point being that I didn’t need to read Jawkeen’s update to understand what being thankful meant. I’m guessing Jawkeen posted this crap after receiving word that his name will be featured on the Super Street Fighter 7 roster.

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