Status Updates From Idiots

September 8, 2010

Monica Without A Cause

Filed under: comedy — Tags: , , , , — youneed2stop @ 6:00 am

Monica ****** – “I’m strong-willed, independent and outspoken; I make mistakes. I am sometimes out of control and at times hard to handle, but if you can’t handle me at my worst then you sure don’t deserve me at my best. If …you’re a…HANDFUL, then post this on …..your status.. I DARE You!”

– You are aware that this courageous DARE you accepted portrays you as a self loving bitch, whose most redeemable qualities can either be found with a backhand upside your head or asleep in bed. Then again you probably snore, snort, and bark like a walrus having a wet dream when you’re sleeping. Either way you’re about as badass as those Tazz and Bugs attitude t-shirts from the 90’s. I personally think you’re a nice stupid person who waters her corn crops on farmville and usually writes updates about how much you love your hubby.

September 1, 2010

Go For It!

Filed under: comedy — Tags: , , , — youneed2stop @ 8:22 pm

Drew ******** – “It always or usually takes 4 or 5 “no’s” to get to a yes. No “no” should stop you. Keep on keep onnin’.”

– Nice going, Drew! You just gave all the rapists out there a reason to continue raping. I suppose you plan on sharing the same motto to a bunch of terminally ill poor kids too. Kids who’ve been denied health care and patrol Facebook looking for uplifting status updates about turning frownies into mom’s heart warming brownies. Listen punk, if life was like Rocky 1-4 then I could see your point. Unfortunately, life’s like Rocky 5. Your brother-in-law gambles all your money away. The bank seizes your house, robot maid, and motorcycles. And you’re brain dead.

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